Stepping up


So, yesterday, Mr. Hand and I got into a text argument over his schedule and it not meeting my needs. I had been trying to be flexible, but the reality that I would only see him for a few hours every other week, was not something I was happy with. I have done this kind of relationship 3 times before, and it has always ended in my broken heart, when the man could not deliver on the promises he made, as far as the kind of relationship he wanted. It became very heated, and I tried to walk away from it, but somehow we managed getting back to it (my fault, mostly). I will take responsibility for my share of the argument, but Mr. Hand was also responsible. Finally, after threatening to leave me (this is a new relationship, remember), I asked him if we could just drop it until we had both calmed down and could actually talk in person rationally. Thankfully, he said yes. I was kind of disappointed that he wasn’t stepping up to his role to put a stop to it. I had been upfront about struggling to let go of things once I got started. Instead, he tried to run away from the relationship. This concerned me, more than the issue itself.

Later in the afternoon, I received a text from him. It said,

“I’ve been thinking. You need a spanking. For causing unneeded drama for both of us. You don’t trust me to make us work out.”

I responded with, “I don’t want to be spanked. I’m frustrated and disappointed and angry right now.”

I didn’t like it, I knew it would not be pleasant. But, I knew he was right. I was proud of him for finally stepping up. I’m sure it was hard for him to overcome his fear of getting hurt if the schedule couldn’t work out, to fulfill his role in this relationship. I picked a good man.

So, after he got home from his work shift, at 11 PM, I went over to his house to receive my punishment and talk. I got the leather paddle first, followed by the belt, which I have actually come to like. It can hurt worse at the moment, depending upon where it hits, but I recover quickly.

Afterward, we talked. We straightened out our expectations, the exact nature of his schedule, and I realized it’s probably not as bad as I thought. He had not communicated it to me in a way I could understand. I’m glad we had a chance to clear this up, instead of just calling it done and moving on.

We also got the chance to talk about some other concerns I had. I feel so much better that the air has been cleared. What started as a fight that could have ended our relationship ended up making it that much stronger. I’m really glad Mr. Hand did what he did. While I was not a happy camper at the time due to the fight and the fact that I had to get a spanking for my part of it, but he got away with nothing, it made me feel so much more secure in our relationship. He stepped up to be the man I need, which saved our relationship.


Have I ever mentioned how awesome he is? Oh yeah, I have. But he’s worth saying it again. Mr. Hand, you are so incredibly awesome! I am very lucky to have you.


4 thoughts on “Stepping up

  1. That is soo sweet.. My 16yr old moves me to tears he is an awesome kids..and yes I think all moms get over whelmed and yell…I always say if your kids don’t over whelm u. Then u don’t spend enough time with them.. I have 3 and they drive me batty sometimes but I love them

  2. I had to send this to my boyfriend, because it mirrored so much of our lives it was weird…. And it made me feel good to know that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts, feelings and sometimes behavior misses….

    Funny how small a world can be sometimes…

    • Thank you for the comment. If you’d like to look at his side of the story, hop on over to growingtogetherwithher and you will find it. There is also a very well-worded reply in the comments explaining why together time is so important to the women in these relationships. Good luck!

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