A change of heart and mind

It is almost unimaginable to me how much things have changed in me in just the last week. My attitude about and outlook on life has changed drastically. I sometimes wonder if its the honeymoon effect, but I think it’s more than that. I know things wont always be this “happy”, but I also know separating the overall satisfaction from the in-the-moment feelings of dislike (probably caused by me not getting my way and/or laying bare bottom over his knee) is crucial.

There was a time, even in the last few months, where I was in charge of everything. I controlled every aspect of my life and relationship (largely due to having a partner who didn’t step up). Or, I didn’t control it and everything fell apart. I “liked” that life. It was all I knew.

Now, I don’t control everything. I can’t. I’m not allowed to determine every ounce of my fate. Other than the fact that I consented to Taken in Hand, it’s simply not up to me.

My life has become so much more peaceful. I know what to expect when I do or do not do things. And my greatest pleasure is when Mr. Hand tells me I’m a good girl. I used to find things like this offensive and degrading. Now I find it reassuring and complimentary. I’m glad to have him, and so grateful for everything that he is.

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