It is almost unimaginable to me how much things have changed in me in just the last week. My attitude about and outlook on life has changed drastically. I sometimes wonder if its the honeymoon effect, but I think it’s more than that. I know things wont always be this “happy”, but I also know separating the overall satisfaction from the in-the-moment feelings of dislike (probably caused by me not getting my way and/or laying bare bottom over his knee) is crucial.
There was a time, even in the last few months, where I was in charge of everything. I controlled every aspect of my life and relationship (largely due to having a partner who didn’t step up). Or, I didn’t control it and everything fell apart. I “liked” that life. It was all I knew.
Now, I don’t control everything. I can’t. I’m not allowed to determine every ounce of my fate. Other than the fact that I consented to Taken in Hand, it’s simply not up to me.
My life has become so much more peaceful. I know what to expect when I do or do not do things. And my greatest pleasure is when Mr. Hand tells me I’m a good girl. I used to find things like this offensive and degrading. Now I find it reassuring and complimentary. I’m glad to have him, and so grateful for everything that he is.