Taken in Hand does not always include spanking. It is a personal decision made by the couple. To me, Taken in Hand is for letting my partner take the lead. I have experienced and heard of so many marriages where both partners try to be equal. It always seems that the partners spend more time battling for top dog than caring for each other. I do not want to live that again.
The thing is, we are still equals. We made an equally consensual decision to base our relationship on this and Radical Honesty. I was neither forced nor persuaded. I freely chose, as did he. We will still make major decisions equally. The purpose of Taken in Hand, for me, is to have someone to defer to when I need guidance. For me, it is part of a godly relationship, which I have never tried before. I am looking forward to it.
So, why include spanking? From my experience with erotic spanking, I have learned that it helps when I am un-focused or un-centered. I would like to incorporate this practice into my non-sexual life so that I do not always have to use sex to get back on track.
Mr. Hand wants to use spanking for the same reasons I do. He wants to be my strong leader, and to take care of me in meaningful ways. He wants the opportunity to be dominant in a relationship without “dominating.” While he and I both know I am able to take care of myself, we desire a relationship where he leads with my best interest in mind.
While I do not look forward to spankings per se, I do look forward to Letting Mr. Hand help me with the things I need. Going over his knee will hurt, as it should. I look forward to feeling the consequences of my unhealthy behaviors on my bottom for a few hours, maybe more, to help guide me away from hurting myself, others, and our relationship. The days of letting others experience the consequences are over. Spanking will keep the consequences on me in the form of a hurting/stinging bottom.
Spanking is our decision as a couple. I’m happy and confident in our choice, as you should be with yours, no matter what you choose.