Setting Expectations for Spanking

Behaviors that will result in spanking:

Not dropping an argument/disagreement/discussion after it has been resolved; learn to let go

Refusing to agree to disagree; forgetting that I don’t always have to be right

Public behavior that is rude and/or embarrassing

Trying to get my way regardless of what works for Mr. Hand; pouting/throwing a fit when I don’t

Throwing a fit for and other random reason

How will spankings be handled:

In most cases, Mr. Hand will give me a warning. After that, he will tell me I need a spanking because I have not listened to his warning. He will clearly tell me what my behavior was. I will go to our spanking place for a bit to think about what I’ve done.

Mr. Hand will come to me and put me over his knee with my pants on. He will give me some warm up spanks while he reminds me why I am having to be spanked. Then I will remove either my pants for a spanking over the panties, or my pants and panties for a bare bottom spanking. I will return to his knee to get ready for my spanking.

I will lay there quietly while he spanks and explains to me again. I may not reach back to soothe my bottom, nor may I talk at that time unless he asks me to. It is okay if I cry or yell out, unless I have been told I may not yell out. I need to hold still while he administers my spanking. If it is to be a long one, he will take a break while I recover a bit, but I still may not touch my bottom. Mr. Hand will not tell me ahead of time how long the spanking will last. I have to put my trust in him to know when I am done.

Spankings will usually be over his knee, but could have me holding on to the bed or the chair with my bottom up. Only his hand will be used. This is how we will differentiate between discipline spankings and erotic spankings.

After the spanking is over, Mr. Hand and I will sit and talk about what happened, what got me the spanking, what I can do differently. He will reassure me that he spanked me because he cares, because he wants me to feel strong and in control.

If I do not comply with Mr. Hand’s decision to spank me:

If I refuse the spanking altogether, Mr. Hand will not force me over his knee. He will patiently wait and talk to me about why this has to happen. I not only agreed to this lifestyle, but requested it. I need help re-focusing and changing harmful/unhealthy behaviors. When we do get to the spanking, there will be additional spanks, due to my refusal to comply. We agreed on this method because we believe forcing me to comply is only giving him power, not helping me learn and grow, and understand.

If I move around too much, try to reach back to my bottom, talk when I’m not supposed to, or display any other misbehavior during the spanking, Mr. Hand will stop and wait for me to comply. Then the spanking will continue. If it becomes a regular problem, we will try using restraints.

Behaviors not witnessed by Mr. Hand

In the interest of following the policy of radical honesty, I will tell Mr. Hand when I have behaved in ways that require spanking. I cannot give him the opportunity to be the man I want if I do not tell him.

Any other reason to spank:

There are times when I feel out of control, or bad, or anxious. I can request a spanking during these times. When I do, I will have more control in this situation, like telling him when I feel I am done. However, as time goes on, I will hand more of that control over to him, as he will learn to sense my body language, and when I have “let go” of whatever was upsetting me.

Erotic Spanking:

While many people believe spanking should not be erotic, we do not want to abandon that. We do understand the importance of separating the two, however. To help with this, we will leave toys and implements only for erotic spanking. Also, creating a discipline spanking place will help us differentiate the point of the spanking. Also, erotic spanking will be included with other sexual activity. Discipline spanking will be purely spanking and talking. No sexual contact allowed. The only part of my body exposed will be my bottom, and Mr. Hand will be fully clothed.

General Rules

This is a fully consensual agreement. Either of us can end it at any time. Mr. Hand is to remain calm and composed at all times. No spanking while anger. Spankings are only to happen due to my behavior or at my request; never because Mr. Hand just wants to. We will keep this lifestyle private. At some point we will attempt to make friends in the Taken in Hand lifestyle, but that may take time.

So, there it is. The guidelines. I’m sure there are more that I have forgotten. I am sure it will change over time. But we needed a place to start. As we grow and bond together, we will re-assess and adjust. We consider this all part of the learning and growing together process.

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